As times are changing, men are becoming more exposed, not knowing who to trust, but should a man lock his phone from wife?
It is around 11PM in the night, while he was sleeping, I took his phone to view the content, because he has been hiding his phone from me. Surprisingly, the phone was locked with a password. The following morning, I asked him for the phone pin but he refused to give me the pin. Why did he lock his phone? Why did he refuse to give me his pin? What is he hiding from me? I think that he is hiding something very damaging from me. These were the exact words of a lady whose marriage is about 2years old.
Secrecy is the cancer killing marriages. Unfortunately, secrecy has become common among married couples. A man who wants to keep secrets from his wife is not yet ready for marriage. He is still a bachelor. Same goes for the ladies.
A man’s shone is powerful
Let’s bring it home. In this age, the mobile phone has become our everlasting companion. It contains more than the heart can carry. History of pictures, text messages, calls, chats and financial transactions all end up in the phone. It is normal for your spouse to become interested in your phone’s content. A lady, who wants to see a piece of her husband’s day, would easily resort to the phone. The mobile phone has become the window to our hearts. The same phone, some married men would lock and hide the pin from their spouse.
There are many reasons why a man must never hide his phone content from his wife:
- It is disobedience to God’s purpose for marriage
God’s plan for marriage is that both the man and the woman will be open and committed to each other, hiding nothing. Look at creation. The bible said that Adam and Eve were both naked and were not ashamed of each other. In marriage, there should be no shame in weakness. Be happy to let your wife play with your phone. Let her see the chats, calls, photographs, challenges, messages and transactions, it is all part of your nakedness. It is the key to building trust and confidence in each other, which attracts God’s love into your home. As a man, you must eliminate the cancer of secrecy between you and your wife. Take that lead. Go beyond making your phone available to her, answer her personal questions, patiently, no matter how silly they may be.
2. It exposes the man to more and more temptation
A man who has the habit of locking his phone from his wife is 95% more likely to be trapped into sin addiction and will eventually be drawn into living double life, because he feels that he can cover his tracks. When a man lock his wife out his life, he becomes food for the demons of temptation. It is the easiest path to addiction to sin.
A man’s first line of security against the wide wind of temptation sweeping across the world today is his wife. Look, when a woman is in love, she jealously guards her man. When a woman sees a threat and temptation about to swallow her husband, she would fight, pray, nag and complain until the temptation is destroyed. A man’s phone is her wife’s intelligent gathering unit. In today’s world, every woman needs the husband’s phone for intelligence gathering for protecting and praying for her man. If a woman is locked out of her husband’s phone, then she is handicapped. The woman is cut off from vital information for her the battle to protect the man and the family. Do not hide your phone from your wife.
3. It leads to marriage breakdown and divorce
More than 70% of new marriages where spouses hide their and delete phone conversations will collapse within 5years or less. Why? Secrecy is the marriage cancer. It eats up marriage gradually until it is finished. If a man is not living a secret life, why should he lock his phone from his wife? The answer to this question leads to suspicion and assumption. Most times, these assumptions are wrong. Wrong assumptions grow into false facts, which are subsequently magnified to become false realities. It is false realities created by secrecy that destroys homes. If you locked your phone from your wife or you are deleting your phone content, then you are preparing for divorce. Suspicion and curiosity will crash your marriage. A broken marriage is worse than death. Do not allow your marriage to breakdown because of phone or shame.
4. It destroys trust between the man and the wife
Marriage succeeds and fails on the road of trust. When trust dies, marriage dies. Nothing destroys marriage trust as fast as secrecy. Men who create secrecy around their marriage through phone hiding create double identity. They make a big statement that self-preservation is paramount above their family. When the man’s phone is locked with a secret pin, the woman is locked out of the man’s life and secrets. Gradually, the family surfers a catastrophic collapse on the altar of distrust. It starts with just locking the phone with a secret pin. Trust breaks down. The marriage will eventually almost collapse. This is a tragedy. It is a real problem. Whatever you would not be proud to show your wife, do not touch.
5. It shows that the man is weak and not in control of his family
It is a sign of weakness on the side of the man. It is a sign that the man is afraid of his wife. It is a sign that the man married a woman he cannot trust. It is a sign that the man is living with a stranger. The man is living with a perceived enemy. The man is unconsciously saying that he is unsafe. If you as a man find yourself in a condition in which you keep common things secret from your wife, then something is wrong. You should seek immediate help.
Should a man lock his phone away from his wife? The answer is ‘NO’. It shows that the man is weak, fearful and not in control of his family. It destroys trust between the man and the wife. It leads to marriage breakdown and divorce. It exposes the man to more and more temptation and addiction to sin. Above all, it is disobedience to God’s purpose for marriage.
If you are in this habit, just take a strong focused step to correct. Drop your fears. Amend your ways. Go beyond yourself. Remember God’s purpose for marriage is that both the man and wife will share all things in common all the days of their lives.