Marriage with Money is Sweeter
Recently, I was involved in counselling a serious family case. It was a case of a man who went into business partnership with his wife and ended up in divorce because of arguments about money in the business. It was a pathetic case. The argument was so bitter, that I knee it will take only God’s intervention to reconcile the family. The matter is still on.
Money matter in marriage is a serious one. Marriage is sweet; but marriage with money is sweeter. Marriage is sweet; but marriage without money is bitter. Marriage without money sense is a disaster. Pay attention to this teaching and read to the end.
There are important principles every man must know concerning Money in marriage.
1. Love does not replace money in marriage.
Money will help you prove your love. Telling a woman that you love her without preparing yourself financial is like clearing a farm, when you have no seed to plant. No matter how much a woman expresses love and falls over the man, saying, ‘I love you’, when the euphoria of the kisses fades away, the reality of her needs will hit the man. The man must be prepared for the reality. Man of Valour, you must create wealth and make money for your family the right way.
2. Money cannot be separated from marriage happiness.
From children education, to housing for the family, to vacations trips, to proper feeding, clothing and the unforeseen uncertainties, the man must be financially prepared before going into marriage. Many men has abandoned their families to escape financial load and demands. Man of Valour, you must create wealth and make money for your family the right way.
3. Financial stability helps create Marriage stability.
After infidelity, the next thing that causes family instability is lack of money. When you are single, you may not eat and go to sleep, but when you are married and have children, sleep without food is almost impossible. The pain and shame in your heart will be more than the hunger in your stomach.
You Man of Valour, for family stability, you must create wealth and make money for your family the right way.
4. A normal woman is expensive to maintain.
That is the way they are created. You cannot change it. If you complain, it will get worse. The cheapest woman if there is anything like ‘a cheap woman’ will still need at least three times what an average man needs to maintain herself. From women health, to fashion, to emotion and comfort, women are expensive to maintain. You need money to keep one. This reality must sink in. Man of Valour, you must create wealth and make money for your family the right way.
5. A man’s wealth is first seen on his wife.
A wealthy man whose wife looks wretched is considered a stingy wicked man. When a woman is looking nice people think that her husband is rich. They respect the man before they see him. The beauty of the woman is the glory of the man. For a woman, it is different dresses for different days. A different shoe for each occasion. Why, she want to appear the like a woman, to the pride of her husband. Man of Valour, you must create wealth and make money for your family, the right way.
6. A man’s financial load will increase by more than four time ones a child is born.
When the woman is pregnant, her skin and body will start stretching . Body pigmentation, black pots and body stretches will start appearing on her body. Her clothes will no longer fit her. Her colour will change. Now she needs a different cream, a different type of food, and a different set of clothes to maintain beauty. Money must drop. When she gives birth, her body needs to return to shape fast, as the sweet 18 you married. She needs another set of clothes, the body tights, another set food and cream to help get back to shape. If she does not get them, she would gradually lose her shape and may become unhappy overtime. Man of Valour, you must create wealth and make money for your family, the right way.
7. A man who has no money loses his voice.
He is exposed to insult. His opinions will easily be shutdown, because he has no money to back them up. When he hears, ‘bring money let’s do it now’, he simply keeps quiet. He will turn blind eye to things that are failing in the family because he has no money to fix them. Man of Valour, you must create wealth and make money for your family, the right way.
8. When a man lacks money to take care of his family, the woman begins to ask for help from friends, family and relative or even other men. Automatically, she will be exposed to external influences that will begin to remote control her mind. Eventually, her loyalty will shift away from her husband to whoever is meeting her basic needs. This is a natural tendency for the human nature that has manifested in many families. It will take a high level of love, self discipline and control, faith and belief, for a woman who is always in lack for a long time while in marriage to remain loyal to her husband.
There are steps every man must take to ensure financial stability, the right way.
Firstly, the man must start early in life to plan and become financially wise.
I discover that so many men are not financial wise. They were never taught financial intelligence; either in school or at home. They stumble through life, losing critical opportunities to become wealthy.
As a man, read about financial investment. Study to know more about money. Make time and attend seminars and workshop on financial intelligence. Learn how money moves.
Buy properties. Even as a student at age 20, you can save money and buy properties, if you have some excess. Start with one plot of land. It is could be out of the city where land is cheaper. In five to ten years, that land would have appreciated a hundred fold. Buy company shares. Invest in bonds. Early in life, get a financial adviser; not necessarily your father.
Secondly, get education, get training and get quality and scarce skills early in life.
A man must get done with the things needed for self development and training early in life. At age 30, a man should be done with first stage of critical and basic training, skill acquisition, trade development and focused at what he wants to become in life. If at age 30, the man has not developed valuable skills in a field in demand, he has wasted the first 30years of his life.
At age 40, the man has spent half-time of his life; he should have gathering valuable career and business experiences and building business and career networks. If at 40, the man has no work experience at any field of endeavour, he is being shut out of the employment industry. Most companies will never employ a man who is 40 years without any work experience.
Beyond age 40, the man must be thinking from building legacy projects and establishing businesses and organizations that will live beyond his life time.
At age 70 – 80, the man has reached his evening. It is time to start preparing to live the scene and encourage his children to take up his places.
If beyond 80years, a man still wakes up in the morning to go and work for people to earn his living, then something tragic happened in his life.
Thirdly, marry a woman who can help you build.
There are different types of women. The one who can help you build and one will destroy whatever you have built. Marry a woman who can get her hands dirty in agreement with you and create wealth, without selfish motives.
No man is lucky until he has married. One reckless slay queen can destroy everything a young man spent years to build. But one focused and hard working lady can take a strong man from poverty to riches.
Marriage can be a man’s stepping stone to wealth if he gets it right. I have seen the rich become poor after marriage and the poor become rich after the same marriage. That is why marriage decision is a man’s most important one. He that finds a wife finds a good thing and he would obtain favour from the face of the Lord. But not all ladies are wife material. You must find a wife first, before God’s favour will follow.
Fourthly, develop a sustainable money management formula for your family.
Money management and argument between husband and wife has destroyed many marriages. Earlier, I mentioned about a recent case of a man who went into business partnership with his wife and ended up in divorce because of arguments about money in the business came up in my counseling session. It was a pathetic case. The problem was not lack of money, but the transparent management of money was lacking. There was suspicion at every angle.
The love of money is the root of all evil. Every man must have a formular that is transparent for managing money in his family.
As a man, to have a transparent management of money in your family, there must be a full disclosure of how much the man earns and how much the woman earns. There must not be any secrecy. Secret money is the road to secret life. When the man or woman starts hiding money, they start planning secret deals.
A man should never keep secret money from his wife. The same holds for the woman.
Many families are in deep poverty and children out of school after the demise of the man, not because the man does not have money, but because the wife does not know anything about the man’s money is. The man has worked for the banks to be richer.
In many marriages, ATM card pins are kept top secret between the man and woman, because both do not trust each other. Such marriages are only but a shadow and not a reality. It is a co-habitation of two pretenders.
Until you have grown your marriage to the extent that you can trust the secrets of your finances in the hands of your spouse, without fear, your marriage is still a shadow and has a lot of work awaiting repairs.
Some men who think that their wife’s demand will increase if she knows how much they earn are making mistakes. The problem is not knowing how much the man earns, the problem is not knowing what the money will be used for. When the woman is not part of the man’s project, her demands will increase. A woman who is part of the man’s project plan and how much that is at stake will be more careful in placing demands on the man.
The plans of the man and that of the woman for the money they earn must be clearly laid out and agreed. What are the needs of the woman? List them out. What are the needs of the man? List them out. What are the needs of the children? List them out. What are the needs of the common family like car, housing, vacation and support to extended relations? List them out. Budget what you can afford from what both of you earns and save the rest.
It is true that different families have peculiar situations that require creativity for peaceful financial management, but as a basic minimum and advice, every family should have three (3) accounts. One for yourself, the man; one for the woman, and one for the family, which will be a family account, jointly owned by both of you. All excess income, saving from the man’s earning and the woman’s earning must be saved into the family account.
The woman must have her own account. She needs to have a level of financial control and freedom. The woman does not need to beg money to buy menstruation pad, cream and soap everyday.
The man does not need to monitor the money in the woman’s personal account. Don’t go sniffing around her account balance. Let her spend her portion the way it pleases her, and the way she likes. Let her feel happy spending without anyone looking over shoulder.
If she is not working, and you the man is working, let her open account and you pay in some money into the account for her upkeep monthly. Don’t leave you wife without some money, no matter how small. Don’t just drop money in her hands, put into her account. She needs to be part of the financial system and have a financial record.
The family account is the most important one. It is from the family account, you plan to execute family projects like, housing, children fees, car purchase, vacation and other needs of the family, which you both have agreed to do. There must be discipline around its management. Unless for those agreed projects and critical emergencies, no withdrawal should be made from the family account. It is the account for your children’s inheritance.
Fifthly, have a God kingdom mindset.
It is God that gives power to make wealth. Every man must be prayerful and in faith pray down the glory of God’s blessing for the things he lays his hands to do. When a man receives the pronouncement of God’s blessing upon him, everything he does prospers. He will go from riches to greatness. His hard work is blessed by God himself. As a man, take out time and pray down the blessings of God for generational financial expansion. God’s help makes a lot of difference in a man’s wealth.
For every man, know that family is a lifetime legacy project. Women are expensive to maintain, you cannot change it. Get financial intelligence. Start early to build valuable and scarce skills. Invest in properties and other financial assets. marry a woman who can help you build wealth. Develop a transparent financial formular for your family. Pray down God’s blessings upon your finances.
Money will never be a problem for you and in your marriage.
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