Marriage and Family

Resources for your Happy Marriage and Family


Marriage is not a union of perfect people, but a union of people who are willing to work out the perfect will of God in each other, through love, patience and character. Many are seeking to know the perfect will of God in their marriage. Seeking of the Will of God in Marriage is noble as it allows one to purse and hear from God and in dark moments.  The Bible says”…that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God….” ROM. 12:2. Applying that scripture to this context doesn’t mean you should look for the ‘PERFECT’ wife or husband, No! Good, Acceptable and Perfect Will are stages of our stature in Christ – because Christ’s Will is to make us grow in Wisdom and Stature. “Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ: – Ephesians 4:13” So, putting this into marriage means, you or your spouse may not be excellent…he or she may be too short, or too light, or very slim, or one is unexpectedly older that the other or whatsoever (these attributes we know are perishable). But however, that scripture is saying, you both may be babes in your internal configuration, you may have to quarrel a times and settle (which is okay)……but Christ urge that you both continue in the Faith and Knowledge of God until Perfection is attained in your marriage.

 


Building trust is the most important ingredient for you marriage, because trust is like money you know is in the bank. It is the assurance that your effort will not be wasted. it is the assurance that your secrets will not be used against you. It is the assurance that when you fall, someone is there to lift you up. It is the assurance that the person you sleep on the same bed is not a Judas waiting to betray you. Without trust marriage is dead. A marriage without trust is filled with hid and seek. Keeping secrets among couple is a sign that they do not trust each other. Speaking the truth to each other becomes impossible. If you cannot be trusted do not bother getting married, because trust is the currency that secures marriage.

When Marriage is built on trust, it grows like a garden of roses. You must do everything possible to build trust in your marriage. The first step to building trust in your marriage is keeping the secrets of your spouse even when he/she offends you. Do not use her weaknesses against her. Secondly, don’t give her reason to be jealous or to suspect you of infidelity. Most importantly, BE FAITHFUL.

What is it that you or your spouse has done to erode trust? What do you need to do that will rebuild it? Is it sharing your password? Coming home on time? Being upfront about your friends of the opposite sex? Do whatever it takes to rebuild trust. Man of Valour, please be sensitive to your spouse and to her feelings.

 


Divorce!!! Not an option. Divorce is the same word as ‘to abscond’ used in the military to describe a soldier who abandons his colleague in the face of battle. The punishment is usually death. The concept marriage is like a military service. It is a commitment of no retreat, no surrender. Just like Christ is the husband of the Church, the man is the husband to the woman. Just like Christ will not divorce His church, so will the man not divorce his wife. Just like the church will not divorce Her Christ, so will the woman not her husband. Divorce is not an option. God hates divorce.

When getting into marriage, you must understand that the life of a married man is the life of a soldier. The day you chose to run, you chose to die. The day you chose to join the enemies army, the same day you chose to become an enemy to your first love. Having in mind that divorce is not an option, you must prioritize the choices you make. What makes this lady the kind of person you think you can spend your life with? Is it character, status, wealth, beauty, ethnicity, religion or love. May be you do not even know what it is, but the things that matter most should never be at the mercy of the things that matter least.

When you have made this decision, also decide that cheating will never be an option and that there will be no back-door or escape route in your marriage. Stop planning for a way out even before you have gotten in! Decide now that you will be content with the spouse of your youth. You will be happy and more than satisfied with your husband or wife. You will enjoy your life together and you will not regret it.

 


💋💋Free Sex is now Available. 💋💋

There is a secret I want to reveal to you. Are you ready for it? 🙏🙏 Some ladies 💃has offered to give free sex to any man who is available. They are beautiful, elegant, with charming eyes, fixed body curves and ready for any available man. When I sought to know who these ladies are, I found something very shocking. These ladies are pythons🐍🐍 from the queen of coast that turned into humans. They are on a mission. Their mission to lock down the spiritual destiny of men, as many as they can. Their path of covenant is in their private part. Unfortunately, some men are already having sex with them. 😭😭😭 💋💋There is no Free Sex💋💋 Dear Man of Valour, there is no free sex anywhere. Let the destructive illusion of picking sex like paper in the street and clubs end and depart from your thought. A lady offered herself to you free for sex and you are not scared. Hey!!! You are still standing near her. 🏃🏃🏃 👉Have you thought about the exchange that is about to take place, the price and the cost you are about to pay. The price is heavier than carrying the whole world 🌎🌎on your head. Every man, single or married, who goes hunting for free sex outside his family will eventually pay a very heavy price, with his life. The moment you have sex with a woman, you have shared a piece of your spirit 🌋🌋with her forever. It is forever. So many men have the spirit of their destinies locked up in the bottom of the sea, with the queen of coast,🎎 because of one night stand sexual affair with a strange woman they picked on the road. Two weeks ago, a young man came for counseling and prayer at the church service. As I prepared to pray to for him, the spirit of God ministered to me that his ways has been blocked by the Marine spirits he contacted through casual free sex. When I revealed this to him, he told me that one of the ladies is now living with him. They are not married and he does not know her parents. 🦉🦉. These are deep issues. So many men are frustrated 💘💘from achieving anything because of a cheap girl they picked up in the street. Some did it when they were young, but they never recovered. What you must understand is that there is No free or cheap girl in the street.Most of the slay queen falling over you are agents of destruction released from the kingdom of darkness and the queen of coast to drain your destiny into their coven for riches of the dark. They are many. They are everywhere. They are enemies. The moment you share sexual intercourse with just one of them, you have stepped into the python’s mouth🐍🐍. Their private part is the python’s mouth. The moment your sperm comes in contact with the python’s poison, your spiritual destiny is poisoned and locked. You can never be the same again, except by the merciful intervention of the Almighty God. The future of your life will be riddled with stories of missed opportunities, lost favour, stagnation, confusion and poverty. Sexual immorality is deadlier than poison. It destroys the man and everything in his path. It has brought great men down. It has destroyed cities. It has burnt down treasures. It is foolishness for a man to think that he can pick up sex a paper on the floor. If you desire to be a Man of Valour, you must make certain decisions to ensure that you will never be like the other men in this world today. This decision must be resolute and based on principle. For Men, life is first built on principles. A man without principles will end up in the pythons mouth. It is better not to live than to live without principles. If you are married, cleave to you wife. Be faithful to her. If you are not married, wait until you are married for sex. Pre-marital sex is a terrible way to destroy your life before it starts. Do not stick your body into the pythons mouth. Be strong, be courageous, be principled. 💪💪Be a Man of Valour💪💪.

 


LEADERSHIP IN MARRIAGE is the responsibility of the man who will succeed. A husband has several callings, one of which is to be a leader, or “the head of the wife”. What does that mean? It doesn’t mean control, passive non-involvement, asserted superiority or taking advantage. On the contrary, a husband must never use his role as leader for selfish benefit. To do so would deviate from God’s plan. A husband must never put his wife into a jacket of compliance, or she will wither and so will her love for him. As husbands, you are to lead sacrificially in marriage by example not by ordering or constantly instructing your wife. She is not a maid or a slave, but a co-builder, and a dominion-partner. Your only focus should be on loving your wife as Christ loved the church – that is, sacrificially. Dear Men of Valour, Bring out the best in your wife; likewise, be the best version of your very self, and you will see her become the best you want to her to be.

 


PARENTING. One of the dilemma of parents is how strict should they be towards their children. if you are in that dilemma, you are not alone. Parenting is the calling in life that will prove your failure or success. If you fail as a parent, I am sorry you have failed in all, but if you succeed you have succeeded in all; you can depart the world in peace.

Sometimes parents are scared that if they are too strict, their kids will hate them. We forget that discipline is two-sided. With one hand you correct and with the other you love. There’s a balance. If you are balanced in your parenting style, your children will both love and respect you. Most importantly, when there are disagreements as to how you are parenting your kids, resolve them quickly and privately. Your children should not be privy to your arguments or think one parent is for or against them. When you have reached a solution, present them to your children as your joint decision. Man of Valour, let there be no winner or loser; let the kids see that you arrived at the decision with your wife.

The worst happens when parents allow their children to act without a sense of responsibility and consequences for their actions. Proverbs 22:15 says, ‘Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.’. Proverbs 23:13 says, Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. Proverbs 29:15 says, The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. 

 


No matter how beautiful a woman is, she will struggle with not liking something about herself. No matter how confident a woman seems, insecurities still haunt her at times. No matter how fulfilled a woman is in her calling in life, there will always be a part of her that wonders if she measures up. Some women struggle more than others, but all women long to be affirmed, appreciated and admired. Other than God, there’s no one who can do more to build a woman’s self-esteem than her Husband. Men of Valour, Your wife is in the process of becoming what you think of her!. – Appreciate her – Tell her often of how much she means to you – Compliment her in front of the children and other people – Believe in her – Validate her dreams; make her believe she can do whatever God has called her to do She is what you make out of her!

 


DON’T PLY THAT ROUTE You are married and you are currently falling for someone in your office. It’s a No No! Don’t ply that route! You have to be ready to make that change and it is your change that will break the circle of needless attractions. You need to develop emotional maturity. Remember you have a Will. You have the strength to decide how your life will go and not just respond to any stimuli or emotion of the moment. The fact that you see ice cream ten times a day should not mean you should eat 10 cones; nor does the fact that there’s a 24-hour movie channel mean you won’t go to work but rather call in sick to watch TV. Sometimes, no matter how attractive something may seem, you must assert yourself and refuse to be a slave to emotions or external stimuli. Proverbs 5:3-8 puts it in this striking words. For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, And her mouth is smoother than oil; But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, Her steps lay hold of hell. Lest you ponder her path of life— Her ways are unstable; You do not know them. Therefore hear me now, my children, And do not depart from the words of my mouth. Remove your way far from her, And do not go near the door of her house, There’s a time to be brave and a time to flee. Wisdom is knowing that in matters of the heart, you are not as strong as you think you are, so FLEE. Stop trying to prove a point. Protect yourself and your marriage. That’s true courage!

 


When approaching a decent lady, your approach matters!. Decent ladies don’t like unserious people coming to ask them out. Approach a lady with respect. Greet her politely. Don’t objectify her. Don’t whistle at her or undress her with your eyes. A decent lady wants to know that beyond her body, you are interested in who she really is – her mind, her interests and her dreams. Don’t drool over her or you’ll come off as a clown. Men of Valour singles, Be composed and respectful. Don’t be that guy that is so desperate, who can date anything in a skirt! Take special care in knowing what you want and then go after a lady who is like that. Get it right and do it right! ________________ Hey guys, are you having relationship aches?

 


It’s very unfortunate that most people make choices based on appearances instead of character. Until we realize that appearance does not keep marriage, we will continue to make wrong choices. Beauty or cuteness without character is a disgrace to one’s creation. Under this factor you must consider the person’s ability to handle difficult situations, honesty, compatibility, trust, true love, faithfulness, humility, care, attention, affection etc. Dear Men, we must realize that what keeps a relationship or marriage is invisible.

 


It’s not the person who falls in love first that remains in love, but he who knows the right button to press. Buying an expensive car is not the problem, but maintaining it. Dear Men of Valour, take a cue from the following: – Do not raise your voice while angry with a woman because it can tamper with her emotions, making her prone to aggression. – Never share your attention between two women. Women do not like sharing intimate affection. – Transparency should be your watchword. Hide nothing from her, she deserves to know everything you do. Her opinions and advice should not be discarded. – Do not prove to her that her body determines her worth. A woman wants to know why you love her. . – Be gentle and accommodating, it is the desire of every woman to be treated fine. Most Importantly, it is your responsibility to keep loving her as Christ love the church.

 


Overcoming the Spirit of Seduction – Part 1 Seduction is like a Sweet Poison. It is a like the voice of a killer lion, turned into a singing bird, hoping for lovers to come in. It is an iron drag net that looks as weak as spider web. All Men high or low, annointed or not must overcome the spirit of seduction or die in shame. Now hear this… The late Arch Bishop Idahosa, a man God used to raise the dead, shared this personal life experience. He said, I went to a city to minister and some press men arranged for a woman to hide in my hotel room. I went to bed and started sleeping. About 2 hours later, someone started shouting fire, fire, fire, fire. I said where is the fire? I went to the bathroom, because I didn’t know anyone could be in the wardrobe. She kept on shouting fire, fire, fire, fire, I am burning, I am burning, I am burning, she kept crying. I opened the door, there was no fire. Finally, I decide to open the wardrobe, and there was the woman. All her shirt was burnt to ashes with fire. She came out, her skin was peeling. I asked her what happened to her. She said the press men gave her money to stay here, so that when you start sleeping, I should come out and lie with you, so they can say you committed adultery. Seven days later the woman died. Have you seen how desperate and determined the devil is to pull down any man who is on his way to greatness. There is a battle raging for the soul of the Man, anointed or not, big or small; the battle is here. Any Man who ignores this battle will be swept away. Now is the time for every male-man to stand and resist the destructive Vernon of seductive women. The unfortunate truth is that so many Men are ignorant of the spiritual battle raging over their lives. They ignore the satanic mission to destroy them through the power of seductive women. They think that the exposed breast, painted faces, fixed longed nails, winky eyes lids and padded backs of these ladies is for fun or expression of love. No they are not! They are graves painted white. It is darkness, dry bones and maggots. Flee…! May you never be a victim of a seductive spirit. ..

 


Overcoming the Spirit of Seduction – Part 2 Be a man of prayer and fire. Flies do not perch on hot food. They dare not! In part 1 of this series, you read how a woman who was paid by journalists to hide in the wardrobe in Arch Bishop Idahosa’s hotel, so as to destroy him with stain of adultery, was burnt to death. That is the fire of the man of prayer. This is another experience. Festus, a handsome looking guy had only spent 3years in his job as an accountant in a multinational company, when he got married. His wedding day was graced by many friends from his office. Shortly after his marriage and honey moon, he resumed work to the joyful reception of his office colleagues. Nothing looked out of place. A few days later, in the bastion of the welcome euphoria, a lady colleague approach Festus apologizing that she could not bring her gift to the wedding, so she came to present her gift to him in the office. Festus was very happy, as he accepted the gift. In the gift pack was a perfume which looked very exotic and attractive. Festus, without suspecting anything, went home with the gift and curiously used the perfume. The rest was story. Festus marriage only lasted for 12 months. He eventually moved out of his matrimonial home, and moved in with the lady who gave her perfume in the office. He was seduced and he fell. Alas! How I wished Festus was a true man of prayer, who could see the chain locked on his neck by the evil perfume he received. Dear Man of Valour, to overcome the spirit of seduction, you must be a man of prayer in this generation. Seduction is an evil spirit. Sometimes you see them in the dreams as dogs chasing after you. Sometimes they appear as a woman coming to have sex with you in the dream. You must understand what you are dealing with. Physically, abnormal attractions will start. When you are attracted to a woman who has no matrimonial covenant with you, know that the spirit of seduction has been released after. It is time fight in prayer and flee with your legs. This is even stronger for married men, and more delicate for singles. Seductive spirit makes a woman desperate. When a woman is possessed by the spirit of seduction, her hearts is sold to the devil. Sexual immorality at any cost is her livelihood. Every part of her body, eyes, tongue and shape are unleashed for seduction. In the office, in the market and in the church, she hunting for the next man to kill. Going after married men means nothing. Defiling young men is their happy mission. Breaking marriages and bringing sorrow to the heart of married couples is their lifetime passion. When you show them your wedding ring, they tell you it does not matter. When you show them your wife and children picture, they would say, ‘it does not matter.’ All they want is another man down to out. You must understand the mystery behind their appearance. Some of them are not humans, though they appear normal. They are released from the water, they transform into humans, carry out their mission and return. Their private part is python’s mouth. Nothing that enters it comes out alive. You must understand who they are. They come in seductive, charming looks, winky eye lids, padded back and front, seductive voice, crying for attention until you get into them. Their mission is to swallow your glory for the devil. Once you sleep with them, it is sealed. The real you is swallowed. The empty you will be walking around hopelessly till it dies in shame. To overcome this wicked spirit of a seductive woman, you must be a man of prayer, too hot to be handled, too dangerous to be swallowed. Matthew 26:41 says, pray that you enter not into temptation, the spirit is willing but the body is weak. The flesh cannot overcome the spirit of a seductive woman. Money cannot overcome her. It is not a battle you fight with boasting how strong you are. It is not a battle you fight with education, PhD or Masters. Only by the spirit of God can you overcome her. Only with the consuming fire can you overthrow her and destroy her evil passion over you? These come through prayer. A seductive woman cannot look into the eyes of a man of prayer and fire without getting burnt. A man who does not pray is like a plate of bone set before dogs. He is a food for the devil’s agents. The devil will devour him like vulture feeding on carcass. If you want to overcome in this generation, you must carry the fire of prayer in your soul. You must send a clear warning the devil not to try you. Devil stay off my track, because I carry fire in me. If Arch Bishop Idahosa was a prayerless man, the woman would have succeeded in destroying him. Being a man who carried the fire of prayer in his soul, the power of God released fire and burnt the lady in the wardrobe where she hid herself. Prayer resists the enemy. The bible said, resist the devil, he will flee from you. How do you resist the devil? It is through the prayer. Unfortunately, many men are not praying. They rather spend time on many other things than pray. Some would watch football for four hours, but can’t spend 30mins to get hot in the spirit through prayer. Man of Valour, you need to start praying. But how do you pray if you have not repented of your sin and surrendered to God? You Must repent of your sin. Confess your sins and forsake them completely. Accept Jesus Christ into your life as your Lord and Saviour. Make peace God. Learn to pray. Let your life be enveloped with prayer with fire. The enemy cannot stand you.

 


The Right Attitude✍️✍️ The right attitude means giving it your best shot, not just today but everyday. Not just when it’s easy but when it’s bloody awful as well. The right attitude means going that extra mile, giving it that extra effort even when you’re tired and pissed off and ready to quit. Others can quit, you can’t. The right attitude is head up, never moaning, always positive and upbeat, constantly looking for the advantage and the edge. The right attitude is developing standards – and sticking to them. Being sure of your bottom line and knowing when to make a stand. The right attitude is being aware that you have enormous power and that you will exercise that power with kindness, restraint, humanity and consideration. The right attitude is being good but quick, kind but observant, considerate but successful. Dear Men of Valour, let’s embrace the right attitude not just as Christians, but as men who will give all it takes to be the very best version of themselves.

 


How wonderful the world would be if more people could stand up and say, ‘I am more than my urges. I can control myself. I can be faithful to my spouse. I have inner fortitude to not bow under pressure’. Privacy, especially when you are trying to abstain from sex, is not your friend. However, people in their right mind would not tear off their clothes and engage in sexual acts in front of other people, so being in a public space gives you a better chance of not sleeping together. So Men of Valour, be sensitive and discerning. Sometimes what looks like a blessing is actually a trap. Be aware that there is a prowler called the devil who is interested in your failure. Don’t let him win. Finally on this, as much as it is humanly possible and not a matter of life and death, never share a room alone. The temptation to cuddle up will be strong and one thing could lead to another. Besides, flee appearances of evil.

 


Husband kills wife over plan to re-marry after his death . . A 30 years old man, Uwani Danjuma has killed his wife because she planned to re-marry after his death. The incident occurred at Uddu Village in the Rijau Local Government Area of Niger state. According to Danjuma, his wife had told him when he was sick weeks earlier that if he dies, she will re-marry another man. Angered by those words, Danjuma attacked and killed his wife with a cutlass after he got well. Confessing to the crime, the suspect said his wife was sleeping when he carried out his heinous crime saying he purposely killed his wife because of her comment to him. “I can’t imagine my own wife telling me that if I died, she will remarry. I lost my temper and inflicted injuries on her neck with matchete which led to her death.” “I am not regretting killing her since she wanted me to die, I killed her so that she will not remarry. She should not have said that to my hearing, there is power in the spoken words; so let her go. Allah will send her to hell fire for that unguarded comment.” The Police Public Relations, in the state, Mohammad Abubakar, said the suspect was arrested based on tip off adding that he had confessed to the crime.

 


There is no new beginning to your life without an ending to an offense, and there is no ending to your problem without a new beginning through forgiveness. Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred. Forgiveness is a supernatural power that breaks the chains of bitterness, bringing joy that is unspeakable and full of glory! Forgiveness is not ‘softhearted foolishness’. It is the first step to ending the spiritual and emotional problem you find yourself in right now. Fellow Men Of Valour, the way out of the problem can be found in the simple mandate given to us by our Lord Jesus Christ: “Forgive us as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Forgiveness is not weakness; it takes great strength to forgive. Forgiveness is the first step towards happiness, towards hope, and towards healing. Forgiveness is a huge step out of the problem and into the provision of God. Hallelujah!

 


Make it a point to commit five minutes a day to pray for your wife. Pray a different scripture for her each month, as well as other specific requests that God puts in your heart. Keep a prayer list specifically for her. Take Colossians 1:9-11 for example: – That she would be filled with the knowledge of God’s Will – That she would have spiritual wisdom and understanding – That she would live a life worthy of God – That she would please God in every way – That she would be strengthened with God’s power for patience and endurance – That she would have a thankful spirit. Dear Men of Valour, can you imagine the effect of this on your marriage relationship when you literally bathe yourselves with God’s Word as a prayer? Try this for a one-month experience, then see the transformational power of God in your relationship!

 


3 Awesome Family Time Together 1). Meal Time It is important that you as a Man of Valour be home on the regular basis for meals. Place it as a priority on your agenda. Place great value on the family meal, seeking to use it as a time for the entire family to connect and to share. Do not allow television, radio, or books to disrupt this precious time. Do not rush through the meal, rather work at making it a sharing time and a happy event as you devote an hour to your family. Make sure you spend time with your family. Healthy relationships require time. It shows true love. 2). Family night Mark a night in your calendar as an appointment with your family. Discuss intimate and old stories. Listen to the children as they untwine themselves, it is then that you can build a reservoir of intimacy that can help in the more difficult teenage years. Vacations are essential. Make vacations good times. Give it your attention. Make it a priority. 3). Touch and talk Show affection to your wife in the presence of your children. Build their self-esteem by speaking affirming words and giving them compliments. Tell them when they have done well.

 


What Are The Qualities Of A Good Father? 1. A Good Dad Loves And Protects His Kid’s Mom 2. A Good Dad Provides For His Family 3. A Good Dad Is A Disciplinarian 4. A Good Dad Is Not Focused On Raising Good Kids But Good Adults 5. A Father Leads By Example 6. Dads are Servant Leader 7. Fathers Are Supportive To Their Kids 8. Fathers Are Slow To Anger 9. A Good Father Loves His Kids 10. A Father Needs To Be Patient 11. Good Dads Are Dependable 12. Kids Need A Dad That’s Compassionate 13. A Playful/Cheerful Dad Is Important 14. A Good Dad Is Present And Involved 15. A Good Father Is Proactive