9 Types of Men a woman should not marry…
More than 50% of all first marriages end in divorce? Why? Not all men who make marriage proposal are truly ready for it, or understand the responsibilities expected of them. Women discover the mistake after the wedding. Too late! Within one year, they are filling for divorce. Marriage is good, but making the right choice of who to marry is key. Before you get to the point of no return, or say yes to a marriage proposal, here are the 9 types of Men a woman should not marry…
A Man who is not ready to leave his father and mother
Marriage is not for babies. There is a command any man who wants to get married must obey. That command is this, “For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and both shall be one flesh” (Matthew 19:4). This is a divine standing instruction for every man unchanging for generations.
A man who is not prepared to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife is not ready for marriage. He should remain in his father’s house until he is ready.
There is a reason why God gave Men this instruction. This will not be discussed here, but be sure that a man who cannot leave to his parents to cleave to his wife cannot take decisions that will protect his family. Such a man cannot protect his wife from his parent’s harassment and insult. He will abandon his wife to the mercy of his parents and other family members attacks.
So many men have lost control of their families because of the controlling influence of their mother. After the son’s marriage, some mothers move into their son’s new home, with an overwhelming controlling influence. They would say, “This is my son, I carried him in my womb for nine months, he sucked this breast for 1 year.” They would question the son’s wife ability to care for their son better than them. They complain about everything they can lay hands on, including child-bearing and food taste. Any man who permits such behaviour from his parents has not left his father and mother. He is not ready marriage.
As a man, you must take care of your parents, but you cannot marry your wife and marry your parents. You must choose one. You must honour your parents, but you must not allow them place control over you family.
If you are a lady, before you accept a man’s marriage proposal, ask him if he is ready to leave his father and mother and join his flesh with yours? It is that one flesh that will take care of your both parents. If he is not ready, you do not have a husband in him, turn down the proposal.
A man who has no life purpose
A man without purpose has no direction. He is like a car without steering. He is going nowhere. God gave Adam his wife, Eve, after he was engaged in his purpose in the Garden of Eden. So many men are making marriage proposals and going to the altar without a clue of what their purpose in life is. Some are still guessing what their purpose could be.
The greatest tragedy in a man’s life is to get into marriage without a clear purpose for his life. Some men after marriage would turn and ask their wives, “what do we do now?” This is a tragedy. When a man takes a lady from his father’s house without a clear purpose for his life, the lady comes in confused not knowing what to do with the man. Eventually, she will start looking for a purpose for herself. This is the beginning of most marriage crises.
A man who has no life purpose will always be jealous at his wife’s progress and opportunities. He will be in competition with his wife. Such a man will perceive his wife’s purpose as a threat to his position. He will oppressively deny the woman any opportunity to fulfill any purposeful dream of her own.
On the other hand, a man of purpose is not threatened by a woman’s progress. He will rather find a way to synegise her progress with his purpose, for a stronger family.
If you are a lady, when a man comes seeking your hand in marriage, ask him “what is your purpose in life?” Ask him, “what purpose do you want me to help you fulfill? If he has no purpose, he is not ready for marriage. He is going nowhere. Do not follow him.
A man who is not prepared to provide
The primary responsibility of a husband/father is to provide for his family. The authority of a man is derived from his ability and commitment to provide for his family. Also, the joy of a father is that he can provide for the needs of his wife and children. Simply said, there is no fatherhood without provision.
A man who thinks that providing for his family is doing the woman a favour is not ready for marriage. Some men boast that they paid the bills, the rent and bought the food for the woman to eat. Others complain that they have done so much and will not continue. While some men give conditions before they will provide for their family. These are signs that the man was never prepared for marriage.
As a man, making provision for your family is not a special achievement. It requires no condition to be fulfilled. A man who is not ready or willing to make provisions for his family is not ready for marriage. The good news is that God has created men with special abilities, skills and internal energy to fulfill this responsibility if the man is willing.
As a man, do not be offended when your wife is asking you to provide for all her needs. It shows that she is with you spirit, soul and body. If she is not asking you for her provision, someone else is providing for her. Her loyalty is towards that source of provision.
As a lady, when a man comes asking you for your hands in marriage, ask him if he knows his mandate to provide for his family. He may not have everything, but he must know that it is responsibility to carry the burden of provision. The woman will always help if she can.
A man who is not ready to carry the weight
Just like a building foundation, the man is the foundation of the marriage. This is why God created the Man first to lay the family foundation. Every other structure including the walls, windows, roofing and household items will eventually sit on the foundation. The foundation must carry the entire weight without cracking. If the foundation cracks, the building will eventually collapse.
This is the same for the man. He is the structure that carries the weight of the entire family, financial, emotional, material and spiritual. Some Men are not ready to be the family foundation and carry the weight. They only want a lady to fiddle with. They start complaining shortly after the wedding. Suddenly, the lady becomes a witch and the cause of their problems.
For such a man, the moment a small emotional or financial weight of the marriage is placed on him, he wants to run away. He becomes angry, smashing the heads of his wives and children violently, in reaction to the weight of marriage. Within the first 3 – 6 months, he wants a divorce.
The position of the man is the foundation. As a Man before you jump into marriage, are you ready to take the position of its foundation and carry the weight of everything? You cannot run away from it. Do you have the spiritual, emotional and financial steel to carry the weight? If you are not ready to be the foundation, stay away from marriage.
As a lady, when a man comes asking for your hand in marriage, please check if he is ready and wired to be the foundation you can stand on. If he is not, if you stand on him, he will crack. When he cracks, you will crash.
A man who cannot protect the woman
Every woman needs a sense of security around her. God created the woman from the man’s rib, which is located under the arm, to symbolize that the woman will be protected under the man’s arm. It is the responsibility of the man to provide protection and shield for his home including the wife from danger. Some men are strong but can protect every other person but not their wives.
A man who is focused on protecting himself, his parent, sisters and brother, but not the wife is not ready for marriage.
As a woman, do not consent to marry a man who will not care about what happens to you, emotionally and physically.
A Man who has nothing to teach
One primary responsibility of every man from creation is the duty to teach, instruct and guide His family, starting from his wife. A family where the man does not know what to teach nor has no time to teach the wife is in trouble. The marriage will eventually collapsed. In the family, it easy for a woman submit to a man with superior knowledge to her. Every woman looks up to her husband to learn and improve.
Some know too much of what is not relevant to the woman. They know all the names of English Premier league football players; Chelsea, Liverpool, Arsenal and their likes. They know all the goals scored, who scored them and score times, but do not know any word of encouragement from the scriptures for their wife.
Look at what happened at creation. When God created Adam, He gave him instructions of how to govern the earth. God instructed Adam to be fruitful and multiply. God also instructed Adam not to eat fruit from the tree at the center of the garden of Eden. In the time of giving these instructions, the woman, Eve has not been created. When God created Eve, He did not repeat those same instructions to her. It was Adam who thought Eve everything God instructed them to do starting from Eden. Adam did his part. When Satan came tempting Eve, she quoted exactly what God had told Adam. This shows us that Adam taught Eve everything God instructed him about the earth and Eden. (Genesis 2:16-17).
As a man, you should study and learn before lurking around a woman. Study the word of the spirit of God. It is from it that all knowledge comes from.
If you are lady, before you consent to marriage proposal, make sure the man can teach you the mind of God concerning your union. Make sure that the man can help you improve your own life. If the man is blank and have nothing to teach you, then your choice is not ripe.
A Man who cannot tolerate a woman’s faults
Marriage is not a bed roses. There are moments of offence and those offences can be heart breaking. A man who finds it difficult to tolerate a woman mistakes, is not ready for marriage. Women are not angels, they are humans, and can make mistakes. There is no marriage without offences.
A man going into marriage must be self-controlled, slow to anger and forgiving. As a man, be prepared for those moments when the lady you married will do things that just tip your anger bucket over. Those moments call love to action. You must test yourself for the limits, that you can love and tolerate a woman’s faults.
Look at the life of Adam and Eve. It was Eve that listened to the devil, ate the forbidden fruit, and gave Adam the fruit to eat. It was all Eve’s actions that brought permanent damage to Adam’s Eden. God drove Adam out of Eden because of the irreparable mistakes of Eve. Adam lost his paradise because of the mistakes of his wife. The amazing thing is that Adam did not divorce Eve. He tolerated her, forgave her and loved her afterwards. If he had divorced her, he would have had enough reasons. So many men will not take half of what Eve did to Adam in Eden. They would sue for divorce. Adam loved Eve beyond his Eden. He could tolerate her mistakes and forgive her grave failures.
If you cannot forgive Eve like Adam did, you are far from being a husband. Ask yourself, ‘if this lady burns my degree certificates, will I tolerate her, forgive her and still love her.’
As a lady, before you consent to a marriage proposal, find an opportunity to provoke the man and test his anger limits towards you. If he cannot control his anger, breaks things and smashes the wall, then you better think twice.
A Man without Character
A man without character is like a dog. He will eat his own vomit. He will say something, do another and promise another. A man without character will run a woman crazy. He will lie, sleep around with strange women, abuse his children, make fake promises, operate in secrecy and still cover everything up until the day the woman will discover.
This is the most difficult part, because character is hidden in the heart of men and only revealed with time. A man with questionable and unstable character will bring terrible crises into his life if he marries because women fight with all their strength, once they feel that their life is being threatened by the man’s character.
As a man, before you make a marriage proposal, put you character in order. Do away with evil and destructive lifestyle. If you know that you are not ready to do away with bad character, then you are not ready for marriage, because you will cause more harm to yourself.
As a lady, you cannot change the character of a man in the marriage. If his character is questionable, stay away, you do not have a husband.
A Man who is not in God’s presence
This cannot be over emphasized. God’s presence is where the man receives protection, instruction, fellowship and inspiration for his life. God’s presence is Adam’s Eden. It is at Eden that God placed Adam before he gave him Eve to marry. A man who is not in God’s presence has no protection from the powers and forces that fight men on earth. He is exposed and will easily be consumed. Such a man does not hear the mind of God.
A man who is not in God’s presence will be a torment to the soul of any woman after marriage. Men must seek God, surrender to him, and remain in His presence, before seeking a wife.
A man who does not desire or seek to be in God’s presence, should not take a woman along. He is not yet ready for marriage.
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