9 effective ways to handle a nagging wife…
It is better to live under a leaking roof than to dwell in the same house with a nagging woman. For a man, a nagging wife can be a pain to his soul. Sometimes men do not handle the situation with wisdom resulting to domestic violence, emotional breakdown and even divorce. Instead of the fire-for-fire reaction that follow, there are better ways to managing the nagging wife issues.
Here are the 9 effective ways to handle a nagging wife.
Understand why women nag
As a man, you must understand why women nag. This is key to managing it. Firstly, most women nag (99%), so there is nothing wrong with your wife. Secondly, women naturally nag for one reason; they want problems and broken things fixed on time. Their risk tolerance level is typically low. What you as a man will see as a small problem under your control, will appear as a very big problem to your wife. This is why she would start complaining while you think there is nothing to complain about. Thirdly, women capacity to handle crises and damage control is very thin, so they want problems resolved before they escalate even if the chances of it happening are very low. They just want to remain in their safe zone and enjoy their comfort. Fourthly, a woman will talk about the same thing again and again until she gets a response from her husband. Fifthly, nagging does not mean that a woman is wicked, it is just who she is. Sixth, Some women have low tolerance level before they snap into nagging, so understanding of your wife tolerance level is key. Seventh, She will not change or stop, it is her natural state from creation. It is you the man who has to learn how to handle it.
Be Patient with her
As a man, once you marry a talkative woman, you have married her. You are in. You have to live with it. Do not expect her to change. She will not. You must understand that she in her natural frame. To manage her, you must be patient, loads of patience. A nagging wife is like a leaking roof. Until the rain stops the leak will not stop. If you find yourself under a leaking roof, and the house is yours, you must be patient until the rain stops. Until the woman exhaust the weight of words in her heart, she will not keep quite. Thus, as a man, you must be patient with her.
Next time when she starts a nagging round, quickly put on your patience garment. Always have it handy.
Soak up your anger
A nagging woman will naturally provoke a man’s heart to anger. Men do not want to be harassed with an unending talk about the same thing over and over. So the natural tendency for you as a man is to become angry and start yelling back, beating her up or breaking things. But you can do something different.
The bible in Proverb 14:17 says, “A quick-tempered man acts foolishly,…”
This is the key! The woman is in her natural state, which is to nag until she gets results, so DO NOT BE ANGRY with HER. Be calm and consciously tell yourself, ‘I will not be angry because I know you are in your natural state.’ What do you expects a leaking roof to do when it rains? Naturally, it will allow water into the house. If you get angry because the roof is leaking under the rain, it is too late. You cannot stop the rain and you cannot fix the leak until the rain stops. So allow her finish, then you can fix the nagging subject as best as you can. DO NOT BE ANGRY when your wife is nagging, she is in her natural state.
Do not ignore her
The fastest way to stop a woman from nagging is play along with her nagging spree. By this I mean, do not ignore her or act as though she is not talking to you. Do not walk away without a word. Women want responses that give solution to their complaints. Keeping quite only fuels her anger and the talk. A man’s quietness also means danger, because she might imagine that you are thinking something more dangerous to do. Make no mistakes, she will go on and on until you respond, so respond on time. You can do something different.
Firstly, listen to her quickly to understand what exactly she is angry about. Be careful here! Sometimes it is difficult to understand exactly what the issue. A woman may want to complain about a refrigerator, but will start with a stale bread in the refrigerator. So listen first to make sure you understand what she is complaining about.
Secondly, take over the burden in heart by making her feel that you are even more concerned about the issue than she is. Express how important what she talking is to you. If she complaining about not calling her parents or siblings let her know that her parents are still your parents. Pick up the phone in her presence and call. The moment she feels that you are more concerned than she is, she will feel that she has won the day.
Do not raise your voice
The natural response to a nagging woman is to respond especially when it comes with insults. When a woman insults you, your ego and pride is punctured. For a man, responding would come with a louder masculine voice and an offensive action. This is what most men do, but you can read something different after reading this. Do not raise your voice. You may encourage her to go the long haul nagging until she breaks down.
A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)
When you respond to a nagging woman, always remember that she is in her natural state. She is ready for the fight shamelessly. As a man do not raise your voice or try to shut her down. Sometimes, out of fear, she may tend to keep quiet, but I can assure you that it is only for a while, before she comes back to that same topic, if her complaints are not resolved.
Give her hope and assurance
As a man, you must understand that women want problems and broken things fixed on time. Their risk tolerance level is typically low. What you as a man will see as a small problem under control, will appear as a very big problem to them. Also their capacity to handle crises and damage control is very thin, so they want problems resolved before they escalate even if the chances of it happening are very low. For this reason they talk about it, until they get a response.
As a man, you must understand that women need assurance more than any other thing. Assurance of attention and responsibility from a woman’s husband is more valuable than gold. It is all they need. A woman wants to be assured that her husband is in control of any situation that she cannot handle. Whatever a woman is complaining about is already out of her control. She simply cannot handle it, so she starts talking about it. The least she can take is that assurance that the man is in control.
The bible says in Proverbs 10:31-32, “The mouth of the righteous brings out wisdom… The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable.”
Firstly, tell her that you understand what she is talking about, if you do. If you do not ask her, to please explain what the problem is and you will fix it right away. It doe not matter if you can fix it immediately. All you want is to calm her down and escape the nagging.
Secondly, If the issue involves a physical object, stand up go and see what she is talking about.
Thirdly, assure her of what you will do, what you are doing and what she may do. Give her time.
Take a momentary walk out
A nagging woman can drive a man crazy. Before things get out of control, quietly take a walk out of the house or the scene. Walking out does not mean that you are weak or afraid, but it will allow you buy time and let the tension in the house calm douse away. The woman may continue to talk for a while, but she will eventually keep quiet and become sober, knowing no is listening to her. You can return to the house when she calm down.
Taking a walk does not mean that you should ignore her complaints. No! It means that you wants to handle the situation differently by deflating the heat and resolving the challenges later.
A wise man walks out of trouble, but a foolish man is consumed by it.
Try to change to topic
Try to change the topic to something new and exciting to her. Changing the topic subtly may work, but you must be smart about it. Do not try it if the woman is already very angry. Do it when you have tried to provide some assuring response. First, acknowledge that you have heard her complaints then try to change the topic by giving her exciting news. Something like,
- I saw a black shoe that would match that your new cloth and I would order it. Hopefully you will like it.’ It will delivered next week.
- Let us plan for a 2 weeks holiday this summer. Women love holidays.
The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness. (Proverbs 15:2). Be wise in the use of your tongue. This is where wisdom comes in. Be a wise man.
Pray for her
The bible says in Philippians 4:6, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God”. Prayer answers all things. Pray for your wife. Women face a lot of pressure which Men do not often appreciate. Pray for grace and wisdom for her. Sometimes, it is pressures around the home, extended family, ill-health, child care and even work or business that can make woman transfer aggression to her husband. Prayer calms tension. For women, it works wonder because of their emotions which easily connects with the spiritual realm. Take her with you to prayer meeting as often as you can. Research has shown that women who pray and go to prayer meeting are 30% more likely to live peacefully and live longer than those who do not.
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