7 types of women a man should not marry…
More than 50% of all first marriages in the west end in divorce. For second and third marriages, the number is about 75% divorce rate. In America alone, there is a divorce every 36 seconds. Surprisingly, more men are filling for divorce than women. It all starts with making the wrong choice of whom to marry. Marriage is not just about the ladies curves, colour and status. As a man, before you propose to lady, there are 7 important characters you must look out for.
Here are 7 types of women a man should not marry
A woman you cannot build your vision with
For a marriage to work, the vision of the woman should align with the vision of the man. Selfishness must die. There cannot be two visions in one marriage. When there are two visions, the man on one side and the woman on the other side, it is called di-vision. No marriage will work with di-vision. This is a warning to all men! Do not marry a lady who cannot come into your vision and help you build it. I have written that one of the most important thing a man needs before marriage is his purpose. Read: 3 Most important things a man should know before marriage. It is important that you let the woman know your vision before getting married. It does not mean that the lady must work for you or that she becomes your servant. NO! It means that whatever the lady is trained to do, where, when and how she does it must align with the primary vision of the man in pursing the building a strong and prosperous family. This is the key!
Ladies are very powerful vision builders. They are smart, energetic and can multitask. They have the power to multiply whatever is given to them. God’s purpose for giving ladies these special gifts is for one primary purpose, which is to provide help to the men, to enable them (both man and woman) fulfill the dominion mandate given to humanity.
And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” (Genesis 1:18)
Remember Lot and his wife. In the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot’s vision was to escape the impending doom without looking back as commanded by the angels. His wife had another vision. Her vision was to secure her earrings and necklaces from Sodom (Genesis 19:26). While Lot was running, looking forward, the wife was looking backward and turned into a pillar of salt instantly. Lot lost his wife, but escaped Sodom with his two daughters. He later impregnated his two daughters and had two male children, Moab and Ammon who were later cursed. They all perished. Lots family was closed forever.
Do not marry a lady who will be looking back when your vision is to look forward. The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her hands (Proverbs 14:1)
A woman you cannot teach
Let me tell you straight away! Do not marry a lady who cannot take counsel and guidance from you. One primary responsibility of every man from creation is the duty to teach, instruct and guide His family, starting from his wife.
A lady who feels too proud, too knowledgeable or too elevated that she cannot take words of advice or guidance from her husband, is not a wife. She has become a man of her own.
A lady who is impatient to listening to you or allow you alter words of advice without shaking her head or wagging her waist restlessly is giving you clear signs that you cannot teach her.
A family where the man has lost his confidence to exercise the responsibility to guide, counsel and teach his family including the wife has collapsed. Men lose the confidence to teach in their homes, when they feel that no one is listening.
Look at what happened at creation. When God created Adam, He gave him instructions of how to govern the earth. God instructed Adam to be fruitful and multiply. God also instructed Adam not to eat fruit from the tree at the center of the garden of Eden. In the time of giving these instructions, the woman, Eve has not been created. When God created Eve, He did not repeat those same instructions to her. It was Adam who thought Eve everything God instructed them to do starting from Eden. Adam did his part. When Satan came tempting Eve, she quoted exactly what God had told Adam. This shows us that Adam taught Eve everything God instructed him about the earth and Eden. (Genesis 2:16-17).
As a man, you are the first pastor and priest of your home. You are God’s representative in that family. Your first duty is to teach your home in the will and word of God. A lady who is not teachable, no matter how educated and elevated is not a wife for you. Never marry a lady who will discourage you from teaching your family. If you fail to teach your family, you have failed as a father
A woman who does not need your provisions
The primary responsibility of a husband/father is to provide for his family. The authority of a man is derived from his ability and commitment to provide for his family. Also, the joy of a father is that he can provide for the needs of his wife and children. Simply said, there is no fatherhood without provision.
Do not marry a lady you cannot provide for. When a lady is too rich, too comfortable or too proud that she does not depend on her husband for anything, her natural ability for submission is broken.
A woman who does not need anything from her husband is not a wife, she has become a husband to herself. A woman who depends on her father, friends, or relatives for her needs when her husband is capable of doing so is not a wife. No man can marry such a woman and be happy.
No matter how rich a lady is, CEO, Bank manager, Judge, Business Mogul, and whatever, if she would be your wife, she must ask for your provision. It may be a little thing that the man can give, but she must cherish it as if it is worth everything.
As a man, do not be offended when your wife is asking you to provide for all her needs. It shows that she is with you spirit, soul and body. If she is not asking you for her provision, someone else is providing for her. Her loyalty is towards that source of provision.
A woman who does not need your protection
Every woman needs a sense of security around her. God created the woman from the man’s rib, which is located under the arm, to symbolize that the woman will be protected under the man’s arm. It is the responsibility of the man to protect and shield his home including the wife from danger. Unfortunately, some ladies do not look up to their husband for protection, rather they look up to past friends, parents and relatives.
When a lady’s protection comes from her parents, brothers, boy friends and relatives and not from the husband, then her husband becomes irrelevant. Her loyalty, respect and commitment towards the man and family’s vision is compromised. The marriage is deeply in trouble. Do not marry a lady who does not need your protection, she is not your wife.
A woman you cannot love and tolerate
As a man, be prepared for those moments when the lady you married will do things that just tip your anger bucket over. Those moments call love to action. You must test yourself for the limits, that you can love and tolerate that lady.
Look at the life of Adam and Eve. It was Eve that listened to the devil, ate the forbidden fruit, and gave Adam the fruit to eat. It was all Eve’s actions that brought permanent damage to Adam’s Eden. God drove Adam out of Eden because of the irreparable mistakes of Eve. Adam lost his paradise because of the mistakes of his wife. The amazing thing is that Adam did not divorce Eve. He tolerated her, forgave her and loved her afterwards. If he had divorced her, he would have had enough reasons. So many men will not take half of what Eve did to Adam in Eden. They would sue for divorce. Adam loved Eve beyond his Eden. He could tolerate her mistakes and forgive her grave failures. That is the type of woman you should marry.
Ask yourself, ‘if this lady burns my degree certificates, will I tolerate her, forgive her and still love her.’ Do not marry a woman you cannot tolerate his wrongs and low moments. Those moments are the make and break moments.
A greedy woman who cannot live within your means
This cannot be over emphasized. Do not marry a greedy woman who cannot live within your means of income. A woman who cannot live within your means will always compare you with other men. She will say things like, ‘see Paul, see James, see their car, see their house, and are they not men like you’. This is a sign that your means cannot provide her needs.
She will make unrealistic material demands and expectation beyond what is possible in competition with other women in her network.
A greedy woman will eventually become a prostitute. she will do everything possible to satisfy her greed.
A greedy woman, who cannot live within the means of her husband’s income, will have divided submission towards the family. She will most likely seek material support from her friends, parents, brothers and sisters, which will bring undue influence and interference on the family.
A woman, who cannot live within the means of her husband, can push the man into criminality. Some men have joined secret societies, occultism and armed robbery gangs in search of other means to satisfy their wives’ demands.
A woman, who cannot live within the means of her husband, can push the man to an untimely death. So many men are hypertensive because of the unending worry of their wives. Do not join the list. As a man, you must be contented with what you have, live within your means and work hard to prosper. Godliness with contentment is great gain.
A woman who will take you out of God’s presence
As a man, do not marry a woman who will take you out of God’s presence. The most important place in the life of a man is God’s presence. That is why when God created man, He first placed him in His presence, the Eden. (Genesis 2:8) Read: The 3 most important things a man should know before marriage.
God’s presence is where a man’s strength and inspiration comes from. When a man leaves God’s presence, the man dies spiritually. Nothing is left of the man who has departed from God’s presence.
So many men have lost fellowship and inspiration from God because of the unrighteous influence of the woman they married. A woman with diabolic powers, who keeps unrighteous friends, with an untruthful tongue, with immoral life, with hatred towards God’s word, lover of unrighteousness, with a greedy heart, unforgiving spirit and impatient will eventually become a stumbling block towards the man’s desire for fellowship with God. From such women, please flee.
You need to marry a woman who will encourage you to remain, or return to God’s presence. Any woman, who is not prepared to stay with you in God’s presence, is probably not your wife. This is probably the most important aspect of this list. Do not say, ‘she will change, I will change her.’ You cannot change anybody.
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